Convertissez Cramer Coin CRAMER en Chinese Renminbi Yuan Offshore CNH

It has long been accepted that Jim Cramer is the only counter-signal boasting a 100% accuracy rating—a feat the uninitiated may consider being mere chance. The truth was, is, and will be that this "ability" has only been made possible through our meddling with the collective unconscious, a consensus mechanism operating on belief structures that, when affirmed in great numbers, create a waveform of positive-negative realities and collate into the basis of an accepted "truth". Through his aloof nature, general unimportance, and pathological obliviousness, Jim became the perfect candidate for a convergent focal point upon which to concentrate our great work without arousing suspicion. One by one, from the universe to universe, we have subverted the Bitcoin maximalist status quo through the creation of a token that, just by existing, would draw the attention and Loosh-rich FUD of Jim Cramer himself—propelling and consolidating its dominion over the world economy.